The D Spot

How you do anything is how you do everything.

I heard this the first time from my friend, colleague and mentor, Kellie Kuecha.  Kellie is a master of business branding and identity and in supporting individuals to OWN their worlds.

Take a moment to read this sentence again, and fully absorb the meaning in these words, for they are the truest I have found.

How you do anything is how you do everything.

How you handle and manage any situation, challenge or experience in your life is how you probably handle all of them.

Upon first hearing this I took a bit of time to reflect on it because it speaks fully to how I live my life…today.   But it wasn’t always this way.

As I took time to look back on my life and especially my marriage, I realize that this statement was true even then, though I hadn’t fully realized its implications.

I may not have understood then but I understand now that each and every action I take, word I speak and decision I make contributes to the creation of the life I choose to live.

Let me give you an example.

Immediately following my divorce, I, like most parents who get divorced, made a commitment to doing whatever I could to ensure that my children would be okay.  I wanted to make sure that I made decisions that were in their best interest and that I considered their well being every step of the way.  And so, from that moment on, I had to think long and hard every time I would interact with my Ex husband.

Divorce does not come without its many challenges, including the complexities around co-parenting.  My Ex and I, while we both love our children, do not always get along. In fact, there are many things he does and says that infuriate me.  Over these years (and I am sure into the future) he has, and will, give me many reasons to be hostile and angry.

Because I take this phrase, how I do anything is how I do everything, so seriously, I have had on many occasions had to bite my tongue, shed tears out of frustration and fury, and take the high road by deliberately choosing how I would handle the situation so that I can do what I committed to do; live my life in a way that puts the interests of my children first.

In those moments of frustration and fury, it would be easy to over react or indulge in the emotion of the moment, but then I am reminded; if I do that, it would mean that this is how I handle all things, and I have set a much higher standard for myself.

My divorce forced me to do a complete life assessment.  Why wasn’t I happy?  What had I done wrong in my marriage?  What did I want my life to look, and feel like?

Believe it or not, I am not and was not a “woo woo” kind of girl.  I tend towards being a skeptic and often times, especially back then, fell into the “victim” mentality.  I believed that there were a million reasons why I couldn’t have the life I wanted.

But I was wrong.

As a matter of fact, it wasn’t until this little phrase entered my world, that I really began to understand how I was going to move forward towards creating a new life for myself.  It was going to be one action at a time. One “taking the high road moment” at a time.  One carefully chosen word at a time.

Because how you do anything is how you do everything, it is important to be honest about how you do the “anything”.

For example, how do you perform at work?  What are you friendships like?  How to you approach a challenge?

If you are late with deadlines at work and do not pay close attention to detail, then the chances are that these characteristics can be seen in your personal life and relationships as well.  If you often find yourself having conflict with friends and family members, you will probably find that there is conflict in the other areas of your life too.

This is a particularly important phrase to consider when women (and men for that matter) begin dating again after divorce.  The patterns of behavior and characteristics that can be seen in all areas of your life will reliably present themselves when beginning new relationships as well.  You may be looking for something radically different than the relationship you had with your Ex, but if you don’t do the hard and humbling inner work after your divorce, you will probably attract the same kind of relationship that you had before.

So let me ask you this, do you fully understand how you do “anything”?  And, if you aren’t fully satisfied with your “anything”, perhaps now is the time to break old patterns and set a new standard.

I decided to write this to you on June 21, the longest day of the year…the summer solstice! It also happens to be the day of my son’s 8th grade graduation!

I watched as he stood to be recognized and was surprised at just how emotional I got.

He is my youngest child, and as I saw he and his friends celebrating their conclusion of middle school, I couldn’t help but feel the days, weeks, months and years slipping by so very quickly.

Where has the time gone?

It has been almost 7 years since my divorce and at moments, the pain is still as great as it was when it first happened. As I sat in the sea of parents during the graduation ceremony, I was again reminded of how I never imagined that I would get divorced when I walked down the aisle at my wedding so many years ago.

It is in these moments, or milestones, that I feel the loss of what was….what could have been….what was “supposed” to be.

And yet, even with these emotions that surface every now and again, I am also aware of how my divorce was, in the end, a blessing.

My relationship with my ex-husband was not ideal for me. And it was not exceptional. In fact, my divorce allowed me to find the inner joy and happiness that I so desperately sought while I was married.

No, I never wanted a divorce…who does? But it was the best thing for me, as a woman.

There is both sadness and nostalgia at every event that celebrates our children, because there is no one else that will feel the same depth of emotion about them other than me except their father. It is that bond as their parents that will always be there.

But, after shedding a few tears and allowing the moment to pass, I realized that I am incredibly happy in my new life. I love my relationship with my children. I love that I have created a life around all that I am and all that I want to be. I could not do that while in my marriage.

So, another milestone goes by and I now have both of my children in high school. It won’t be long until they are heading off to college, to begin their own exceptional lives.

And while I wish I could slow down time…I also know that these next few years with them will be full of growth for all of us, and it is exciting! It is my job to model for them what it means to live a life of joy and fulfillment, deliberately creating exactly what you want. To do that, I again re-commit myself to being a happy, whole and healthy woman and mother.

For those of you who have enjoyed graduations, moving up ceremonies and other milestones for your children this spring, CONGRATULATIONS! And, I hope you know that it is normal and appropriate to feel a mixed bag of emotions….for that is the real deal of divorce!

Embrace all of them, and join me in re-committing to taking care of YOU so that you can be the best possible woman and mother you can be!!!

Shared custody.

This sounded fair at the time, especially because I respect and encourage a strong and healthy relationship between my two boys and their father and believe that shared custody is in the best interests of all children wherever possible.

However knowing that it is “fair” and that it is the custody arrangement that is in the best interest of my children meant nothing when it was time for them to go to their father’s for the first time.  I watched them go knowing that I would not see them again for four days.  As they pulled out of the driveway the tears began to fall.

Four days.  Four days without my children.  How was I going to bear the lonliness of it? I was overwhelmed with the loss of what I had always wanted, to be a mother 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Now what?

I made it through the first week…barely, and then the second.  Each week became a little easier as I started filling up my time with friends, meetings, appointments, errands and anything that I could do to make the empty feeling go away.

Well that was almost 7 years ago.  And over time I have come to (dare I say) enjoy having a bit of free time to reconnect to myself,  enjoy new relationships, spend time with friends and work on my business without it taking away from time with my children.

Sharing your children with your Ex is something that is part of divorce.  But you never get used to it.

You never get used to going to sleep at night knowing that your children’s beds are empty in their rooms.  You never get used to missing the opportunity to take care of them when they are sick in the middle of the night.  You never get used to going entire days without seeing or speaking to them.

I have come to feel GRATEFUL for the invention of texting technology. Yes, I said it.  Texting.  While my oldest son is now driving and I am scared to death of the texting while driving statistics, I am still grateful for the technology that allows me to communicate with them anytime, day or night.

If you have teenagers, you realize that they only want to talk with you and hang out with you when it is convenient for them and they are interested, which is not often.  Because divorce often includes shared custody, this already small amount of time they are interested in talking to you is made even less by having them only part the week.

When they were small, I would only be able to speak to them on the phone when they were with their father if the timing worked out, otherwise I could go a few days without seeing or speaking to them.  And I missed my children terribly.

With cell phone technology and the invention of texting, the game changed.  Yes I call them whenever I want to hear their voices, but again, teenagers only answer the phone when they want to.  They, too, screen their calls and mom doesn’t always make the list.  However,  I have come to learn that they always read their text messages!

So now I get to say “Good morning, have a great day today!” every morning.  And I get to send them goodnight wishes and kisses every night.  I even send them random, “I love you” texts during the day when I am feeling the ache of missing them.

The truth is that they don’t always text me back. Sometimes they are in the mood to talk and call me back instead of texting.   But I know that they always read my text messages.   And they know that I am thinking about them and loving them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

And while it is not a substitute for seeing them, it allows me to share my love, support, humor, and often pertinent information with them directly and often.

We don’t need permission to connect to our children.  We don’t need to have custody of our children every day to connect to them.   All we need to do is love them and let them know it, any way we can.

Oh, and the answer to the question?  NO.  You never get used to sharing your children, not even with your Ex.  But, the joy of technology means that there are more and more ways to connect with them while you are apart.

If  you have found creative ways of connecting with your children when they are with your Ex, I welcome and encourage you to share them with us!

Spending time over last weekend with a group of women all with the desire to write a book and supporting each other to share their gifts and talents with the world, got me thinking about who I choose to surround myself with on a daily basis.

I have always enjoyed being part of a community.

And, it started early for me.

I grew up in a wonderful neighborhood and in particular, lived on a street where in the house next door, across the street and further down the street lived kids exactly the same ages as my brother and I.

We were a “pack” and spent endless hours playing outside together.  Us “girls” formed a secret club where we spent our time making secret handbooks and holding secret meetings.  It was a special group and we remain in touch even today.

As I grew older I continued to find myself part of all kinds of communities.

Eventually all of us on the street grew into our own passions and activities, spending less and less time together as a “pack”.  However, soon after I found myself part of a talented group of girls, my ballet performance troupe, and it was in this incredible community that I spent most of my youth.

Through high school, and college, my interests, areas of study and roommates provided me with safe, welcoming and comfortable communities.  Being part of something, belonging, allowed me to enjoy my life.

When I got married, I moved back to my hometown, where although comfortable having grown up there, I didn’t really know anyone living there as an adult.   So, I immediately got involved in my Synagogue and Jewish community.  My ex-husband is an avid golfer and we found ourselves joining the country club where we did much of our socializing.  When my children were born, it was easy to connect to communities.  There were all of the parent communities…pre-school, elementary school, athletics….it was easy to connect around these shared experiences.  I even had a book club with a bunch of moms from my kids’ elementary school.

But then came my divorce.

And I no longer seemed to fit into these communities anymore.

And the people vanished.

They didn’t call anymore.  Invitations to social and special events stopped altogether.  I felt like I was no longer welcome.

But, where did they go?

I was still a member of the synagogue.

My kids still went to the same schools.

I still shuttled my kids around to all of their activities and sports.

And I still liked to read.

Yet everything was different.  I felt completely alone and isolated from any kind of community.  I felt like I didn’t “belong” anywhere anymore.

Have you ever felt this way?

I hated feeling isolated and alone.  I am a person who thrives on relationships and community and now all my relationships were changing and I no longer fit in where I once did.

What I learned is that divorce, unlike death,  job loss, or parenting issues, does not build or invite community, rather it can break it down.  We come together in support of someone dealing with the death of a loved one, we surround people who have lost their jobs with support and we reach out to comfort parents who are dealing with difficult parenting issues.

But where is the community when we announce that our marriage is ending?

This loss of belonging is one of the major reasons that I started the D Spot…to create a community of women who all have the shared experience of divorce, whatever stage they are in.

Looking back I realize that I truly didn’t belong in some of those communities and although at the time I mourned their loss, I am grateful to have been set free to create new, empowering and supportive communities  for myself.

Surrounding myself with groups of friends, family and colleagues that are founded on consistent, honest and authentic relationships is critical to my journey as a woman.

I love the many and varied communities that I am a part of.  They each and all nurture me in different ways.  Some are personal and some are professional.  And because of them all, I know that I am never alone.

What communities are you a part of that no longer serve you?

Do you open yourself to opportunities to create or join new communities?

So, how was your Mother’s Day?  I got lovely email messages from so many friends and colleagues, however it seems as though it was not necessarily a “joyous” day for all of you.

For many, Mother’s Day can bring up sadness and loss, and for others, custody arrangements may not permit them to be with their children.

In the spirit of honesty, I only got to see one of my children on Mother’s Day, the other had a basketball tournament out of state, and Sunday night is the night my Ex has custody of them.  And, despite popular belief, the day I spent with my youngest son, while really nice, was in no way all “butterflies and rainbows”.

In one of the workshops that I did last week a woman interrupted me mid-sentence, and in a fairly contentious way asked how I could mislead the group to whom I was talking.

Huh??

Me, mislead??

She went on to say, “How could you not tell “them” what it will really be like?  That it is unfair, and costly, and challenging, and…..”

Do you get the picture?

I let her finish her thoughts, hearing in her voice the pain of all that she had been through herself.

And for a moment, I thought to myself…do I mislead anyone to think that divorce is somehow all about “rainbows and butterflies”?  That it is easy…or fair?

No.  I don’t.

Just like my own Mother’s Day was not exactly what my ideal day would have been like…it was perfect just the way it was.  It was REAL.

Despite Hallmark’s attempt to lead me to believe that if my children don’t wake me up to a four course breakfast in bed then they are not really good, loving children, I know how much my children love me and they know that I love them…unconditionally, even without a homemade frittata served to me in bed!

Divorce is NOT all about the “butterflies and rainbows”.

It is NOT fair.

It is NOT perfect and surely NOT exactly what we thought our IDEAL life would include.

However, it is REAL.

It is the way it is.

It is also an opportunity to design an ideal life for ourselves.  It is a catalyst for transformation, reclaiming ourselves and deliberately creating what we want our life to look and feel like.

We can cling to the notion that life is unfair and that we are victims of our circumstance…but that is not really true and it will get us nowhere…fast.

We CAN, however, CHOOSE to open ourselves up to what comes next…even if it frightening, overwhelming and uncomfortable!  It is in this journey that we will find the greatest growth, and ultimately, the greatest joy!

I am right there with you…designing what comes next and open to all of the possibilities that present themselves!

So, how was YOUR Mother’s Day?  Was it REAL?!   I am eager to hear how you chose to celebrate the day the incredibly important role you play as a mother yourself or the daughter of a wonderful woman!

As we approach this weekend, I couldn’t celebrate Mother’s Day without sharing a few of my thoughts with you.

I have done a great deal of reflecting lately on my role as a mother.  My two boys are ages 14 and 16, are rapidly approaching becoming young men.  As I watch them slowly mature into young men I am struck by who they are becoming.  My older son enjoys going out with girls and I spend a lot of time watching and observing how he is developing as a partner in an intimate relationship.

My youngest will enter high school in the fall and again, I am overwhelmed by what a fantastic young man he is becoming and his journey towards creating his independent identity.

While I recognize that there are differences between raising boys and raising girls, there is one thing that I know for sure is the same regardless. And that is that we, as mothers, represent what we hope they will either become as young women or will respect in women.  We are one of the two MOST influential people in their lives…and have an incredible influence on who they will become.

WOW…what a tremendous responsibility and privilege.

They are watching our every move.

• The things we say and the way we say them.
• The choices we make.
• The way we behave…and why.

As I counsel my boys through relationship issues (with friends and in early romances), accepting the consequences of their actions, and the challenges of having to make difficult choices, I realize just how incredibly pivotal our role as a mother is.

It is this recognition that has enabled me to strive towards becoming the BEST “me” that I can possibly be.

It is the inspiration behind every action I take and every word I speak.

I take the role of being a mother seriously and make every day an opportunity to teach them how to take bold and courageous steps towards creating their ideal life.

While it is a few years away, I can already feel the beginning of their separation from me and their desire to move independently along in their own lives.  And I support them fully in taking those scary first steps towards self sufficiency.

I will consider it my greatest success if my children move forward with the clarity, courage and confidence they need to design their own extraordinary lives.

So with this in mind, I will celebrating my role as a mother this Sunday!  My children and I will be joining my own mother to celebrate…after all, she is the one who modeled for me what an exceptional parent and mother is.

For those of you that are mothers, I hope that you will join me in honoring YOU and the vital role that you play in your children’s lives…no matter what age they are!

Have a wonderful mother’s day!

I had the pleasure over the weekend of not only attending my friend Anne Garland’s event Women Honoring Women with my mother, but having the opportunity to share our story with the amazing women in attendance.

Anne’s event was designed for women to share their stories of relationships with women that they honor.  I chose to celebrate my relationship with  my mother, but there were girlfriends, sisters, and all kinds of other relationships that were represented.

The keynote speaker of the event was Dr. Dorothy Martin – Neville, an extraoridnary woman with a fantastic story to share.  Dorothy touched on two points that I want to share with you as I have been reflecting on them ever since:

1.  To LIVE life you must take risks, otherwise you are just surviving.

2.  Our relationships with other women are invaluable to the quality of life that we live.

As I sat there with my mother, with whom I share an incredible relationship, I was also struck by how few close….really close, relationships I have with women.

Having gone through my own divorce almost 7 years ago, I have spent the majority of my time and attention focused on securing my financial independence, strengthening the relationship with my children, growing my business which I am passionate about, and finding new love.

Over the past couple of years, however, I have found that my desire to connect more deeply and authentically with girlfriends has been growing, and yet I have not chosen to make this a greater priority in my life.

As Dorothy spoke about her friendships with women that span over 30 years, she reflected on just how much these relationships have meant to her.

The quantity of wine that was consumed over the years, through laughter and tears…

The countless life transitions that she has shared with them….multiple divorces, the death of parents, crises with children, the many professional and personal challenges and triumphs…

The crazy experiences, vacations,  and risks that they have shared, and supported each other through…

To be perfectly honest…I was JEALOUS!

When we open ourselves up to new and deeper relationships with our friends, we also open ourselves up to unimaginable joy.  And as Dorothy so beautifully articulated, when we allow our friends to see our authentic and imperfect selves…we are granting them permission to be authentic and imperfect as well.

What a fantastic reminder!

Divorce can often leave us feeling isolated…alone in our transition.

The truth is, we are not alone.  In fact, we all not only need, but seek out connection with other women.

I hope you will join me as I make this part of my life a greater priority and make a commitment to opening myself up not only to new friendships, but deeper, more meaningful and authentic relationships with girlfriends!

So, I want to thank Dorothy for her beautiful and poignant words and Anne for putting together such a lovely day!

And, a special thank you to my mother, Martha Weisbart, for being the most incredible relationship I have ever had and for joining me at this event so that we could share our story of love.

P.S.  This event was my mother and my “unofficial”  introduction to the book that we have started writing together!  Stay tuned for more information as we make our dream a reality!!

Did you ever notice that there are some people that are always surrounded by drama?

They have drama at their workplaces. They have drama with their children. There is drama with their families. The list goes on.

Do you know anyone like that?

I know plenty. And, as a matter of fact, one of my best friends is like that.

I finally realized WHY there was so much drama, and then, everything else became clear.

She has so much drama because she is LOOKING for drama.

Imagine that?!   Could it be that simple?

Here’s the thing…we will always find that which we look for. It IS that simple.

There is a magical thing that happens when we choose to look for the good in both people and things. Not only will we find it, but along the way we begin to reframe how we process experiences and we discover how much begins to come our way.

So I ask you….do you look for the good?

Looking for good comes in handy when going through a separation or divorce. It will allow us to focus on what is most important and make critical decisions from a position of mutual gain.

It will also determine the quality of our relationships….ALL relationships.

With friendships, women will often assume the worst when observing the actions, words or choices of their friends. They will imply that they intended malice or are being jealous or nasty, when in most cases, it is simply a miscommunication or misunderstanding. Friends don’t often INTEND to hurt each other. If you do have a friend that intentionally does or says anything to hurt you, it is time to let that friendship go.

With our children, we can often focus on what they are NOT doing, rather than what they ARE doing. I have noticed along my own parenting journey that when I am looking for the successes in my children’s behaviors and actions, I see so many more wonderful parts of them. And, I take time to acknowledge and praise them for all of the GOOD things they are doing so that when I have to address the areas of conflict, they know how great I think they are to begin with, and can hear me more openly.

With our partner, it can become so easy to look for areas where things are NOT working, rather than seek out all the wondrous parts of the relationship that ARE. Rather than notice the parts of the relationship and person we love that are fabulous, it is common to be hyper-aware of the parts that are NOT meeting our expectations. Perhaps he has not brought you flowers or complimented you in a long time, but he has made dinner for you, taken you out to your favorite restaurant, helped you around the house or snuggled with you when you needed it.

And finally, with our Ex’s, it is critical to look for the good. Especially if you have children and if you are committed to doing everything to create a new life that is the best interest of ALL of you, you will want to master this skill. Your intention should be to support your Ex to be the best man and father that he can be, because that will benefit YOU over the long run.

When we look for the good in both people and things, we WILL find it.

The same holds true if you don’t. If you are looking for your boyfriend/partner to forget something, fall short of your expectations or do something inconsiderate, you will undoubtedly find it.

However, is it possible that there are so many more wonderful things that he is doing that you are not taking notice of?

Is it possible that your Ex is doing some things as a man and co-parent that are actually good for you or your children that you are not acknowledging?

There is a time in every separation and divorce to move forward and refrain from looking back. I do not mean to FORGET what was, but rather to set new expectations for the future and reframe the way we experience our relationships.

• You will need to reassess and reframe your friendships as this is a new time in your life. Your focus and future have evolved.
• You will need to re-establish your relationship with your children as a single mother and set new boundaries and expectations.
• You will be opening yourself up to new love and will need to approach the relationship with a new attitude and as a new kind of partner.
• You will be redefining your relationship with your Ex to that of a Co-Parent rather than that of a spouse.

All of these relationships will require you to let go of what was and deliberately create something new. And yes, there will be challenges. And there will sometimes be conflict. However, if you are committed to focusing on the GOOD in each relationship, you will far more likely to find it and be able to compassionately and articulately deal with any issue at hand!

I am always looking for products, services and resources that support women who are going through transition and even more specifically through divorce.  Now that I have my fabulous new blog in place, it is so easy to be able to share them all with you!

So, I simply had to share with you the wonderful endeavor of a friend of mine that I think you will LOVE!

Two years ago I was introduced to Rebecca Lown as she was launching the first online magazine for women moving along the journey of divorce!  Imagine how much I loved that!  The magazine is called SPLIT and is a fabulous resource.

SPLIT is a weekly newsletter and blog dedicated to separated and divorced women. While the end of a marriage can be stressful or even downright frightening, SPLIT magazine is here to help you live the best life you possibly can – right here, right now! Whether you’re at the end of a long divorce or just at the beginning, SPLIT believes your best days are still in front of you.

When I asked Rebecca to tell me how SPLIT came to be, this is what she had to say:

Need is indeed the mother of invention. I started SPLIT because I really felt lost about how to put my life back on track after my divorce. I couldn’t find a good magazine or newsletter that spoke my language. So I decided to create one instead.  My hope is that you will read something that might nourish you, inspire you, or change your perspective, even if for a brief moment.  Divorce is unraveling and sometimes the climb upward into the light seems slow… But good things will come if you are open to them  Don’t be surprised if find yourself as a very different person than you thought you were when married to Mr. Ex. And isn’t that an exciting and great discovery!! My ultimate goal is to make SPLIT into a printed magazine!

During her first year of SPLIT Rebecca wanted to do a few small events, so I went to NYC and did a wonderful workshop for the magazine on Fearless Finances as it relates to women going through divorce and it was a blast!  I have been really impressed with Rebecca and the evolution of SPLIT.  Whether it’s dating, finances, self care, sensuality, parenting or any other area of life, SPLIT offers insight and often guidance for the journey.  And, Rebecca is witty and humorous which can be seen in her blog and through her magazine as well!

She and I have remained in touch and I recently I was delighted to find out that she and SPLIT are the sponsors of my upcoming workshop that I will be doing for Savvy Ladies, a wonderful organziation that serves to empower women financially.  The workship is called Who Am I, How Did I Get Here and What Comes Next:  Packing Your Bags for the Journey Through and After Divorce, and I am really excited to be in New York City on April 28 to present it!!!

I hope that if you are anywhere near NYC next Thursday night, April 28. that you will come on out and join us there!

Make sure you sign up for SPLIT’s newsletter and you too will enjoy this fabulous resource!

Subscription to the SPLIT newsletter is easy and free!  Just go to http://SPLITmag.com click on “Subscribe,” and you’ll be set after a few short clicks.

I had the most wonderful experience this past week.  I had the opportunity to host a special call with two fabulous women, Meredith Allen and Tara Eisenhard. 

I had never met either of them…as a matter of fact, I had never even spoken to them before last night.  But they are kindred spirits and I believe will be women with whom I will stay connected as I move along my own journey of self discovery and.

I asked Meredith and Tara to join me for my monthly teleclass because I had been reading their blogs and was taken by their candor, honesty and compassion.

Tara writes a blog called Relative Evolutions and has a philosophy about divorce that is in alignment with mine.  She believes:

• A marriage shouldn’t survive at the expense of its participants.
• Sometimes a good divorce is the appropriate solution to a bad marriage.
• Separation signifies the evolution, not dissolution, of a family.
• Divorce is the shared goal of two people wishing to part ways.
• Divorce shouldn’t be ugly or expensive.

Tara is a divorced woman with no children of her own, but she is the girlfriend/partner of a man with children and has wonderful insight into the role that she plays in his/their lives.

Meredith writes a blog called Now Is Good where she shares her journey through and after divorce.  Meredith is a divorced mom of three beautiful children and is navigating the waters of being a divorced woman and co-parenting with her Ex and his live-in girlfriend, a woman that was part of the reason for the divorce.

In her own words, “I’m a newly single mom of 3.  I’m also a daughter, sister, friend, loner by nature and lawyer by trade. I swear like a sailor.  I laugh really loudly.  I have no tolerance for hypocrisy.  Sarcasm, strength, good grammar, intelligence, biting humor and a fair amount of red wine are requirements, not preferences.  Life has been throwing curve balls and I’ve been fielding them as well as I can.  This is me figuring it all out.”

I absolutely LOVE her style!

Tara and Meredith recently blogged together in a series called “She Said, She Said” where they shared their thoughts on being divorced women, co-parents, the girlfriend of a divorced dad and managing so many emotions!

Because of the way in which they explored these issues and the respect, intellect and compassion in their writing, I asked them to join me for a conversation on the very same topic.

It was an EXTRAORDINARY hour!

I learned so much from them…and together, we talked about the REAL DEAL of divorce and the journey to wards creating your new and ideal life! 

The call was so great that I wanted to make sure I shared it with you!  So, click here to listen to the call….I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!