The D Spot

So it’s a new year; and perhaps with this New Year, you have set a resolution that this is going to be your year to find love. Love is the most complicated, awesome, painful and sought after desire there is. We all want it, and we all can have it; but many of us simply just don’t know how to do it.

Well, you can have it, when you understand it and take intentional action to get it.

Here is my Love after Divorce Manifesto, designed to guide you towards attracting, co-creating and sustaining new love in 2013.

I open my heart, my soul and my mind to receiving the love I desire.

If you have loved, thought you had love, lost love or simply have never experienced the beauty of love, you will first have to prepare your heart and soul to receive it again, or for the first time. Looking for love when you are not at peace with loving yourself and the intensity and vulnerability that love creates, will only lead you to a disappointing journey.

Give yourself the time you need to prepare, so you feel ready to allow yourself to receive and participate all that love is and becomes.

I allow curiosity to drive my dating and relationship experiences.

Too often we become critical during the dating process, expecting that we will be met with fireworks and butterflies with every potential partner and becoming angry and frustrated when we believe our expectations are not met. When you are able to look at every person you meet as an opportunity to learn more about them, you not only will enjoy dating far more, but you will be allowing yourself to be curious. Curiosity presents a chance for you to share more about you, inquire about things you really want to know about him and unleash your flirtatious and authentic personality in the process. Be clever, kind and flirty with your delivery and you will be surprised with the results.

I will enjoy, rather than evaluate each new person I meet. I will embrace the opportunity to meet new people as I date, and refrain from analyzing them until I have shared at least three unique experiences with them.

We egotistically believe that we possess the ability to fully evaluate a person upon the first few minutes of meeting them, convincing ourselves that “we know what we want and he is not it”. The truth is, none of us possess this skill. You can assess that you are not attracted to his looks at all, or that he offends or disgusts you, but other than these glaring situations, it is extremely difficult to fully assess a person after having dinner or drinks with him one, two or even three times.

While dating, individuals are not always being their authentic selves. They are nervous, trying too hard, and managing fear; all coming with their own context and skill level. Dating is an opportunity to create as safe and enjoyable environment as possible while getting to know someone; which takes time and shared experiences. Rather than having repeated dates for dinner and drinks, try another activity. Go skiing or hiking, visit a gallery or museum, cook together; there are endless ways to share time. Preferably choose an activity that is something you love and see how he is able to share it with you. Until you have the chance to see someone relaxed and comfortable, it will be a challenge to assess how you really feel.

I own who I am and what I want and need; setting boundaries that leave me feeling empowered, honored and in control of my romantic life.

There is nothing more attractive than someone who knows who they are and what they want; and who remains loyal to that even within an intimate relationship. If you are unable to honor what you want and set boundaries around that, you simply won’t be able to create a love that is sustainable over time.

Extraordinary, sustainable love is only possible when both of the people in the relationship are healthy, happy and whole as individuals. There are no exceptions.

I embrace being a woman and will nurture the feminine, sensual and flirtatious part of me as I seek out love and romance.

Sex is not the same thing as sensuality and sexuality. The more you embrace and enjoy your sensuality and sexuality as a woman, the better your relationship will be and the more fun you will have. It is not about performance or being good in bed; it is about connecting to your femininity and being comfortable with your sexuality. Walking fully in your identity as a woman will bring out the masculinity in any man. As you move along your journey to search for love, cultivate your own sensuality by doing things for yourself that allow you to feel strong, sexy and vibrant; and then bring this into your experiences while dating.

I recognize that open, honest, and face-to-face communication is the only way to co-create and build a healthy relationship.

Real and healthy love only takes place through a deep and “live” connection with each other. Relationships that take place virtually with little or no interaction face to face, will never sustain the test of time. The only place for intimate conversation and communication is when you are together or perhaps on the phone in between time together.

Having intimate conversations via text or email is a clear indicator that there are cracks in the foundation of the relationship and suggests that it is unlikely that you will ever be able to create real love together.

I trust myself and will listen to my gut and my intuition when it guides and protects me.

Most of us use the phrase “I don’t know” to avoid listening to our own intuition; especially when it may mean walking away from something that represents what we want. You do know. You always know somewhere deep down inside; even if you struggle to say it out loud.

Love is complicated, and it requires complete honesty; even when it hurts. Trust yourself…you are worth

So, when is the last time you felt angry.  Really angry.

What made you angry…do you know exactly what you were really angry about?

Divorce elicits many emotions, one of the most prominent being anger.   As I have moved through and forward after my own divorce, I spent a great deal of time reflecting on my marriage; what had gone wrong, what role did I play and how I would choose to do things differently in my next chapter.

I am not proud of it, but during my marriage, I let anger run rampant in my life.  The more unhappy and dis-empowered I felt in my life, the more anger crept in; in my communication, in my actions and in my behavior.

Anger became the fuel for me to be courageous.  The more I tapped into my anger, the more confident I felt saying what how I really felt and what I really wanted; even if it came out louder and more confrontational than I actually meant.

The problem is that anger makes it almost impossible for the person you are talking with to hear you and to understand what you are saying.  My feelings of frustration and discontent found their voice through anger.  I snapped at my kids, my husband and my family; especially my mother.

I hated that I was irritable and sharp; but while I recognized it, I was unable to do anything about it.   It protected me from the fear, the sadness and the raw truth that lay underneath.

What I hadn’t learned yet is that you don’t have to be angry to be powerful. 

So many of us use anger as fuel to be courageous, honest and to honor how we really feel.  We develop a habit of tapping into anger when we feel fear and discomfort.   The problem is that anger never gets us the result we want and instead, deteriorates our relationships unnecessarily.

Power actually comes from replacing anger and confrontation with assertiveness and compassion.

So how does one accomplish this?

Trust your truth.

Under your anger is the truth of what you feel; but this truth might scare you.  In fact, your truth may be difficult to speak; I know because I have been there myself.  But before you go to the place of anger, trust yourself.  And remember that the truth, your truth, always prevails.

Find a new fuel.

Anger is not a healthy way to gain confidence and courage.  Instead, think back to a time when you acted courageously; when you were brave.  Recall how you felt, how did you find your bravery.  Know that you already have everything you need within you.

Say it with a whisper.

Yes, you heard me.  The quieter your voice, the more powerful your words will be.  And, the lower your voice, the less angry you will become and easier it will be for you to be heard.  Your voice may shake, you may feel extreme discomfort; but you will have a greater chance of saying what you really want to say when the cloak of red, hot and loud anger is removed.

You are powerful beyond measure.  Get rid of the anger and set yourself free.

Do you remember playing Truth or Dare when you were a teenager?  What did you prefer, telling a truth or accepting the challenge of a dare?

To be completely honest, I was afraid of both, which is probably why I avoided this game at all costs growing up.  And all through my marriage I found myself still avoiding both of these options.

But divorce changed all that; it tends to do that.  Moving through and forward after divorce is the fastest way to conquer your fear of speaking your truth and daring to do what you have never done before.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about all the ways that we allow fear to hold us back from what we want and are meant to do.  And I have decided that I will no longer allow it to prevent me from experiencing what I want in my life.

Last weekend I did something that I have wanted to do for a long time but have always made excuses as to why I couldn’t do it.  I participated in my first Warrior Dash.  The Warrior Dash is an obstacle run.  It is a 5K run with about 10 obstacle challenges along the course.

While I take care of myself and am pretty fit, the thought of the Warrior Dash was a little intimidating for me.  And yet, at the same time, it has always looked like something really fun to do.  So in the spring, I posted a call to action on my facebook page to see if anyone would like to do it with me. To be honest, I got a lot of people telling me how fun it looked; but I did not get many who wanted to commit to doing it with me.  Despite the lack of commitment by others, I wasn’t going to give up.

Eventually, a lovely woman who I went to high school with jumped in and said she would love to join; we hadn’t really connected in almost 20 years and I was delighted to seize this opportunity!  Then, a friend and colleagues said she would love to join as well.  By the end of the summer we had six women on our team, three that I had never met before.  We decided to name our team, Dash Divas.

So last weekend, I found myself standing at the Starting Line of my first Warrior Dash with my six Dash Divas, all of us doing something scary for the first time.  And it was a blast!

We were nervous, and excited, and committed to finishing together…leaving no woman behind!  Here we are crossing the finish line!!

I was so proud of myself, so proud of us.  Daring to do something we have all wanted to do;  challenging ourselves to fight through our nerves and our fear!

Life during and after divorce is full of opportunities to dare ourselves to live the life we imagine, and deserve; if we choose to see those opportunities and take advantage of them.

It can be comfortable to stay where we are, even if it is not where we really want to be.  Moving forward is uncomfortable and frightening, but everything you want is on the other side of fear.  And the only way to get there is to step out of your comfort zone.

So, I dare you.

 I dare you to do something you have always wanted to do.

I dare you to look for opportunities that scare you, and to face your fear and do it anyway.

I dare you to be uncomfortable, knowing that what you really want is on the other side of it.

I dare you to speak your truth.

I dare you to push yourself harder than anyone else will.

I dare you to be vulnerable and scared, we all are.

I dare you to take risks, because you will grow from them.

I dare you to let go of what was, because your future is waiting for you.

I dare you to open yourself up to new friends, new experiences and new love.

I dare you to ask for the support you deserve.

I dare you to express your desires out loud.

I dare you do just one thing every day that moves you towards the life you imagine.

I dare you to be YOU…because you are magnificent; you are brilliant, bold and courageous beyond measure.

Together, just like me and my Dash Divas, we will boldly move forward, leaving no woman behind.

You are not alone.  We are in this together!

Recently I have been asked, by more than one media outlet, to speak on the subject of what I believe the single most important piece of advice is that I would give to anyone who is thinking about, going through or moving forward after divorce.

As you might imagine, this is a loaded question and one for which I seem to have trouble answering.  There are many words of guidance that I would give anyone who is facing or has experienced the transition of divorce.

As I sit at my desk (as I am doing right now), I am once again reflecting on this question…what IS the most important piece of advice I would give?

You are in this with me so I ask you! What is the one thing you need more than anything else; the one thing that would change your life right now?

Is it money?
Is it a more effective way to communicate?
Is it a job?
Is it new love?
Is it a “life roadmap”?
Is it courage?  Is it confidence?

 Or perhaps, it is a combination of all of the above?

Like you, I continue to move forward designing my new life after divorce; and to be completely honest, I have had a challenging couple of days.  So, today I could use more effective techniques for communicating with my teenage son, a few new strategies for managing a long distance relationship and perhaps a few helpful hints on re-energizing when you have limited time available.

I guess what I really need is information; information from someone who is an expert in these issues.  Or in other words, really good support.

I have a lot of friends and family that love me, and who would be happy to share their thoughts and opinions with me.  After all, I know that they want me to be happy.

But that is not what I know I need.  I need someone who doesn’t just love me (although loving me would be nice!!), but someone who can give me the tools and resources I need and who is skilled at supporting me create a plan for addressing my most pressing issues, the ones that make me feel sad, overwhelmed and anxious.  I’m not a person who wants to waste a lot of time, I am ready to take action!

The good news for me is that I surround myself with experts in all different areas of personal development and most importantly, I am not afraid to ask for help, or support.

So, that’s it, the #1 thing that you need, and by the way, deserve!   Getting information and really good support is the THE single most important piece of advice that I can give to you and anyone else who wants to create new life after divorce.

It may be that you need money, a job, new love, parenting wisdom….but regardless of what you need, it comes down to asking for and getting support; support from someone who has the skills, the training, the information and the talent to move you forward and create a plan for eliminating the sadness, paralysis and overwhelm that you feel.

And while I recognize that asking for support may feel uncomfortable and maybe even “weak”, it is the strongest, wisest and most loving thing you can do for yourself.

Trust me, I am right here with you.  In fact, I must go right now and make a few calls myself!

There is nothing that can be more painful, and empowering, than healing from and moving forward after divorce.  And more specifically, from the process of understanding what really happened.

  Not just looking back and re-living the awful behavior of our partner; the infidelity, the verbal abuse, the self-centeredness, the insensitivity, the lack of  passion, lack of attention and inability to partner fully, but understanding the real reasons that things didn’t work out in the first place.

I knew early on in my marriage that mine was  not the right marriage, or relationship, for me.  Of course I didn’t know it intellectually, but rather way, deep down inside; in a place thickly covered by fear, sadness, disappointment, and a desire to make it work as I believed I was supposed to do.

Many years later, as my courage, confidence and shear unhappiness allowed me to set my “knowing” free and eventually divorce, I found myself in the process of moving forward after divorce.  And even my “knowing” that divorce was the right thing for us did not prevent the pain, the sadness and the exhaustion of doing the hard work of understanding what happened, so that I could begin to create the life I truly did want.

Initially this process began with the comfort of fully exploring (elaborating) and accepting all of the things that my husband had done to prevent our marriage from working.  All of his inadequacies, his imperfections and his inability and unwillingness to do what it would take to make it a salvageable relationship.

After all, his choices, his behavior and his lack of contribution to the solution was the “real” reason for the divorce, wasn’t it?

My friends and family were perfectly happy discussing (over and over again), how imperfect he was.  How at fault he was.  Clearly they all could see the truth as well.  Or, what I realize now, was their attempt to make me feel better by perpetuating the justification of why I made the right decision.

As I began to create my new, empowered, and “ideal” life, I began to let go of my sadness, my anger and my frustration with beginning anew, and instead, embrace it.  And as I did, with the help of my own amazing coaches and new friends, I also began to question if I had been truly honest about what really happened in our relationship and marriage. It was pointed out to me that I had never asked myself the most important question of all, what role had I played in it not working out?

And so I did.

What I learned is that it is in answering this question that the greatest amount of healing is done.  The self-exploration around how I had contributed to the dynamic of our relationship was ultimately the key to having everything I want.  And it in no way marginalized, diminished or condoned the role my husband played.  The truth; there wasn’t anything either one of us could have done to make the relationship or marriage work, for many reasons.  But I now understand exactly what I want to receive and what I want to bring to the table in a new relationship.

It isn’t easy to ask the question, “what did I do?”, because it forces us to face our own inadequacies and imperfections.  And if you did not initiate your divorce, and don’t fully understand what happened, this will be particularly painful.  I strongly recommend that you get the kind of support you need and deserve to do this self-exploration in a safe and comfortable way.

So, if you haven’t asked yourself this question, why not?

•  Is it that you feel that you, in no way, deserved the kind of treatment you have gotten from your Ex so no matter what you did, it is irrelevant?
   
• Is it that his/her infidelity or abusive behavior far exceeds anything you might have contributed so anything you did is insignificant relative to how horrible you have been treated?
   
• Or is it that when married, no matter what we contribute, there is an “obligation” to stay in the marriage and make it work?  Especially for the children?

 Here’s the truth; the greatest gift you can give yourself is to understand your role in the demise of your relationship and marriage, despite what your Ex has done.  Not only will this set you free, but it is the way to begin the process of letting go of what was to make room for what will be. 

I am in no way saying that this is easy, far from it.  But it is in this journey to understanding that true healing becomes possible.

A few weeks ago I began doing a VLOG with my friend and colleague Kyle Bradford who writes a fabulous blog called www.chopperpapa.com.  We are calling our VLOG “He Said/She Said” and each short video is an opportunity for he and I to share our thoughts and perspectives on some aspect of love, life, divorce, parenting…the real deal!  Raw, uncut and uncensored!

It is a blast!

I was immediately attracted to Kyle, not just because he is a handsome, southern, harley-riding single father, but because his views on being a man, father and great human being is very much in alignment with my views on being a woman, mother, and human being.

I hope you will enjoy our weekly VLOG which is released each Tuesday, and that you will share your thoughts with us in addition to emailing me questions or topics that you would like to see covered to discoverthedspot@gmail.com.

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I love the Olympics. To see the world come together for fair and honest competition based on performance alone is something that I find extremely impressive, empowering and exciting.

For the past week, I have had my TV on and set to the Olympic coverage as background for everything that I am doing.  I have seen competition in sports that I had never seen before and heard countless stories of young and “older” (I am a bit sensitive to the label of “old” given my own age!) athletes as they prepared for their participation in London and going for the Gold!

All of the stories were inspiring and highlighted the complete and all-consuming vision and training of athletes; many despite challenges, obstacles and adversity.

Regardless of who wins the gold, silver and bronze, each athlete has prepared with complete dedication, commitment and focus for their chance to compete and the possibility of success that the Olympics represents.

I can’t help but feel like the Olympics is just a metaphor for life; my life…your life.

While only a few will be medalists in London, ALL of the competitors are now Olympic Athletes…an honor in itself.

Your future IS your Olympics; an environment that offers unlimited, timeless opportunity and possibility.  Like the Olympics, “competing” in this environment, our future, requires focus, discipline, commitment and a relentless pursuit for “winning the Gold”!  However, unlike the Olympics, there are unlimited medals to go around!  How fabulous is that!

Even better we can ALL win Gold because each of us has a different definition of what “Gold” is.  It is defined as whatever you want it to be; whatever your desires and dreams are! How far you go is only limited by YOU… and the standard that you set.  A standard that defines what you want.  Lucky for us, every day is an opportunity to “train” to win it!

If creating and sustaining and extraordinary love in your life is your Gold, make today the day that you state loudly and clearly to the world that you will do any and everything that it takes to get it…and you WILL!  And by the way, we can “compete” in multiple events; love, prosperity, health and fitness, parenting…

Today’s younger athletes will use the performance of the London Olympians to set their goals for the 2016 Olympics and they begin training NOW.

You and I are no different, except that we are not limited by the performance of others; we can have everything that we want, if we do the hard work of preparing for it.

So, don’t wait another minute…set your vision and go for the Gold!

So the time has come for me to “come out” and share more intimately and transparently with you where me and the D Spot are headed.  It is time for full disclosure.

Over the past couple of years I have been walking my talk in my own personal life.  Having gone through my own divorce almost 8 years ago, I have been on my own personal journey since then; a journey towards designing the life that I imagine and deserve.  And guess what?  It really works.

The self-exploration, the personal growth work, and the relentless pursuit to be all that I am meant to be are all paying off…in all areas of my life.

However, I have discovered and learned so much along the way, and I want to share some of it with you.

The greatest thing I have learned is that living your extraordinary life includes many ups and downs.  The challenges are inevitably unexpected, and yet are reliable.  It may seem from my newsletters, facebook posts and tweets that I walk through each day empowered, inspired and skipping with joy, but the truth is, I don’t.

Yes, I am living the life that I imagine, and deserve; and I have never been happier.  But, it takes daily practice, discipline and focus to not only make progress forward, but to maintain the standard that I have set for myself.  A standard that I set after my divorce when I gave myself permission to figure out and define what I really, truly wanted to experience in my life.

Living with mediocrity in my life and relationships is something that I have never been good at, and yet for many years I did. When I finally acknowledged that I was not truly happy in my life, I slowly began to imagine what it would look and feel like to actually be happy.  I wanted it, but felt powerless to make the changes that would get me where I wanted to be. Truth be told, I had absolutely no idea how to do it.   All I knew was that after my divorce, I made a commitment to myself, that mediocrity would never be good enough…good would never be good enough.  I wanted extraordinary.  I wanted exceptional.  And I wanted it in my life, love and everything in between.

It has been a journey. A journey I never could have foreseen, predicted or imagined. It has had unimaginable highs and excruciatingly painful lows.  Through it all, I have discovered, learned and mastered what it takes to create an extraordinary life and love.  And teaching this to others, to YOU, is my passion.  It is what I am meant to do.

Whether it looks like it from the outside or not, no one who goes through divorce, man or woman, comes through it unscathed.  We are all affected, we are all forever changed. However it is what we do with the change that determines our destiny.

Full Disclosure.  I am no different than you.

I have my own fair share of co-parenting challenges; they are painful and they are not at all what I wanted.  And while I can’t control my Ex, or any other person, I am in full control of how I react and respond to them.  And I take this control seriously.

I attracted, created and sustain an extraordinary relationship with a man I love, but he is flawed.  I am flawed.  And it has many challenges and obstacles.  We have four kids between us, three Ex’s (he has been divorced twice), step parents and plenty of parenting issues.  Integrating and blending our lives has been difficult, and yet through the challenges, we grow closer and our relationship deeper and more extraordinary.  I walk my talk; and it is not always easy.  But it works and that is why I do what I do.

I have plenty of bad days.  I have days when I am scared to death of what my future holds.  And if I have what it takes to create the life that imagine; especially because what I imagine is a BIG vision; abundant with resources and love.  I have days when I think that I am not enough…not good enough, smart enough or capable enough of doing all that I want.  But I know that this is just my inner mean girl talking and that she has no idea what she is talking about!  And I know  how to shut her up!  There will always be those who doubt and who are worried about me, including my inner mean girl…but I walk my talk; and I know that creating my plan and sticking to it is going to get me where I want to go.  I also know that surrounding myself with people who inspire, empower and support me is critical to living the life I desire.

I have my own coach…actually coaches.  I know that I am not meant to do this alone.  And neither are you.  They are the ones who push me to be more than I already am, to be, do and create all that I am meant to.  They challenge me and hold me accountable.  I could not do this without them.

You are exactly where you are supposed to be. You have all that it takes to get exactly what you want.  Now it is your choice; how badly do you want it?

“It is easier to live through someone else than to complete yourself. The freedom to lead and plan your own life is frightening if you have never faced it before. It is frightening when a woman finally realizes that there is no answer to the question ‘who am I’ except the voice inside herself.”
― Betty Friedan

The celebration of freedom and independence means something different to each person.  Until my divorce, I had not really given any real thought to what these two words meant to me.  Yes, I took time to appreciate the freedoms that being an American affords me and on July 4^th, would acknowledge these freedoms with family, friends and fabulous fireworks!

Leading up to and through my divorce, these two words, freedom and independence, took on an entirely new meaning for me.  In fact, it was the exploration of what they meant to me that allowed me to begin to understand what I truly wanted my life to look and feel like.

So here is a little bit about what freedom and independence mean to me and the future I am creating.

I strive every day to fully accept and embrace the gift of life that I possess;  The beautiful vessel that is my body and the magic that is my mind.  It is easy to take these gifts for granted and forget to take care of them.  Being independent and free can only be explored when built on the foundation of good health; physically, spiritually and emotionally.

With my mind, my body and my soul, I am able to do, be and create anything that I want; one step at a time.  The only limitations are those that I put on myself which will only happen if I allow fear to drive my direction.

Freedom for me is being free to express who I am and what I want in a way that honors the magnificence of all human beings.  Not only my lover/partner, children, family and friends, but all those with whom I come into contact.  It is taking responsibility for the way I speak to, the way I act towards and the way I treat others.  Our words and actions have the power to hurt or to heal others and this is a responsibility I take seriously.

Freedom for me is giving myself permission to make choices and decisions in my life that feed my mind, body and soul, and that allow me to continuously grow into the woman I am meant to be.  I am grateful for the gift of choice and use it to surround myself with people who inspire, empower and support me to further evolve and grow.  I recognize that in growing my connection to others who appreciate and respect their freedoms, we are able to share and spread them to even more people.

Freedom for me is standing firmly in my role as a woman, mother, daughter, sister, lover, partner and friend.  It is the ability to define these roles around who I am at my core.  This freedom is the gift of being able to step into each of these roles and ROCK each one!  I love each one of them and together, they become the fabric of who I am as a woman!  I can be exactly the mother I want to be by fully embracing the uniqueness that is me, just as I do with my partner, my family and my friends.

For many years in my marriage I did not feel free; nor did I feel independent as a woman.  It would be easy to say that my husband “controlled” our life, but the reality is that I allowed it; in fact I didn’t do much to assert myself and what I wanted.  Blaming would be easier, but it is not the truth.  I gave up my power, my freedom and my independence with my desire to be a “good” wife and mother.  What I did not understand at the time was that in owning my freedom and my independence, I woud become a stronger, healthier and whole woman and therefore, a more exceptional wife and mother.

While there are many things that I can’t control, my ability to be independent and free is well within my control.  This was one of the greatest lessons I learned from my divorce.

Divorce can often lead us to feel less in control than we really are.  In fact, with all of the emotions divorce can create, feeling paralyzed and unable to embrace our new freedom and independence is common.  Reclaiming our personal power and learning how to embrace our new freedom and independence is a critical part of the divorce journey.

This week, where we celebrate our National Independence Day, I hope you will join me in committing to reclaiming your freedom and your independence.  They are gifts that cost nothing, and open the door to priceless rewards.

So this week was the final week of my first ever Are You Ready…for your New Life and Love program and all I have to say is WOW!  What an amazing experience!

One of the things that I love most about what I do is the opportunity to continuously learn and evolve from all of the women that come into my life through my business.  Every email you send me, every conversation we have, and every experience you have teaches me something not only about myself, but also about moving powerfully forward in the creation of life after divorce.

This program allowed me to share five weeks with seven amazing women.  Together we broke through challenges, reconnected with ourselves and designed our new stories.  I was reminded just how powerful it is to come together as magnificent women and support each other in the creation of our ideal lives!  I am truly sad that this first program has come to an end, but I am pumped because I have decided to do it again this fall!!

     Seven women.

     Five Weeks.

     Radical Transformation!!

I wanted to share a little about our experience over the past five weeks because as we all recognized, we are not alone in our journey.  It can feel isolating at times, but once we started talking and sharing our stories, there were commonalities across all of our unique situations.

Your divorce holds the key to unlocking your extraordinary future.

Yes, you heard me correctly.

Through the ending of your marriage and your journey through divorce, you have the ability to learn all that you need to create what you want…IF YOU ALLOW IT!

For so many of us, the exhaustion of the process, the feeling of overwhelm, and the emotions of sadness, grief and anger prevent us from learning what we need to create our new lives.

Instead, we resist.

We defend.

We judge.

We retaliate.

We sabotage.

We do and say many things that in the end, only hurt us.

What was so incredible for me was watching women just like you step out of these limiting behaviors and thoughts, and instead, replace them with MOJO!  With hope.  With brilliant and bold intentions.  With desire.  And with passion.  It was AWESOME!

For those of you who participated in the program and are reading this; THANK YOU!  Thank you for your courage, your inspiration, your magnificence, your depth, your commitment and your energy!  I am a better person for sharing this time with you!

And for all of you…if you are feeling alone, uninspired, unmotivated, sad, angry, overwhelmed, anxious or simply exhausted…know that your new life is right around the corner.  Even if you can’t see it yet.

You are at the beginning.  The beginning of the rest of your life; and it is there ready for you to reclaim it!

I appreciate you indulging me while I brag about the incredible women who shared this time with me.  It was too short…just the tip of the iceberg!

If you are interested in participating in the next Are You Ready?! Program that will take place this fall…just email me at discoverthedspot@gmail.com and I will make sure you get the information as soon as it is ready.

Even more exciting…I am creating an Are You Ready Alumni group so that as you complete the program, you will be able to join the other women in sharing, supporting, and encouraging each other as you move forward!

P.S.  Here are quotes from four of the seven women who participated…I hope you enjoy seeing their transformations as much as I did!

• “I have to say once I started this exercise I felt energized, passionate (gasp!) and alive!  I loved it, couldn’t stop working on it.  Thank you so much for introducing me to this – it feels like I’m on the right track when I’m thinking this way.  It’s so easy to get stuck in the pain of what could have been, the losses you suffer on a daily basis (sharing kids, etc) that your forget how truly amazing your life is & will be.  So, thanks again.  Fantastic!  Can’t wait to work on this some more. “

• “Thanks Laura!!!  Your guidance and posts help me believe I can do this.  Ur program is pretty amazing!”

• “The D Spot has been a huge part of me reclaiming my life and helping me heal and move on with my life.”

• “THANK YOU!  I thought the first session was fabulous and I can’t wait for this process to unfold.”