The D Spot

So it’s a new year; and perhaps with this New Year, you have set a resolution that this is going to be your year to find love. Love is the most complicated, awesome, painful and sought after desire there is. We all want it, and we all can have it; but many of us simply just don’t know how to do it.

Well, you can have it, when you understand it and take intentional action to get it.

Here is my Love after Divorce Manifesto, designed to guide you towards attracting, co-creating and sustaining new love in 2013.

I open my heart, my soul and my mind to receiving the love I desire.

If you have loved, thought you had love, lost love or simply have never experienced the beauty of love, you will first have to prepare your heart and soul to receive it again, or for the first time. Looking for love when you are not at peace with loving yourself and the intensity and vulnerability that love creates, will only lead you to a disappointing journey.

Give yourself the time you need to prepare, so you feel ready to allow yourself to receive and participate all that love is and becomes.

I allow curiosity to drive my dating and relationship experiences.

Too often we become critical during the dating process, expecting that we will be met with fireworks and butterflies with every potential partner and becoming angry and frustrated when we believe our expectations are not met. When you are able to look at every person you meet as an opportunity to learn more about them, you not only will enjoy dating far more, but you will be allowing yourself to be curious. Curiosity presents a chance for you to share more about you, inquire about things you really want to know about him and unleash your flirtatious and authentic personality in the process. Be clever, kind and flirty with your delivery and you will be surprised with the results.

I will enjoy, rather than evaluate each new person I meet. I will embrace the opportunity to meet new people as I date, and refrain from analyzing them until I have shared at least three unique experiences with them.

We egotistically believe that we possess the ability to fully evaluate a person upon the first few minutes of meeting them, convincing ourselves that “we know what we want and he is not it”. The truth is, none of us possess this skill. You can assess that you are not attracted to his looks at all, or that he offends or disgusts you, but other than these glaring situations, it is extremely difficult to fully assess a person after having dinner or drinks with him one, two or even three times.

While dating, individuals are not always being their authentic selves. They are nervous, trying too hard, and managing fear; all coming with their own context and skill level. Dating is an opportunity to create as safe and enjoyable environment as possible while getting to know someone; which takes time and shared experiences. Rather than having repeated dates for dinner and drinks, try another activity. Go skiing or hiking, visit a gallery or museum, cook together; there are endless ways to share time. Preferably choose an activity that is something you love and see how he is able to share it with you. Until you have the chance to see someone relaxed and comfortable, it will be a challenge to assess how you really feel.

I own who I am and what I want and need; setting boundaries that leave me feeling empowered, honored and in control of my romantic life.

There is nothing more attractive than someone who knows who they are and what they want; and who remains loyal to that even within an intimate relationship. If you are unable to honor what you want and set boundaries around that, you simply won’t be able to create a love that is sustainable over time.

Extraordinary, sustainable love is only possible when both of the people in the relationship are healthy, happy and whole as individuals. There are no exceptions.

I embrace being a woman and will nurture the feminine, sensual and flirtatious part of me as I seek out love and romance.

Sex is not the same thing as sensuality and sexuality. The more you embrace and enjoy your sensuality and sexuality as a woman, the better your relationship will be and the more fun you will have. It is not about performance or being good in bed; it is about connecting to your femininity and being comfortable with your sexuality. Walking fully in your identity as a woman will bring out the masculinity in any man. As you move along your journey to search for love, cultivate your own sensuality by doing things for yourself that allow you to feel strong, sexy and vibrant; and then bring this into your experiences while dating.

I recognize that open, honest, and face-to-face communication is the only way to co-create and build a healthy relationship.

Real and healthy love only takes place through a deep and “live” connection with each other. Relationships that take place virtually with little or no interaction face to face, will never sustain the test of time. The only place for intimate conversation and communication is when you are together or perhaps on the phone in between time together.

Having intimate conversations via text or email is a clear indicator that there are cracks in the foundation of the relationship and suggests that it is unlikely that you will ever be able to create real love together.

I trust myself and will listen to my gut and my intuition when it guides and protects me.

Most of us use the phrase “I don’t know” to avoid listening to our own intuition; especially when it may mean walking away from something that represents what we want. You do know. You always know somewhere deep down inside; even if you struggle to say it out loud.

Love is complicated, and it requires complete honesty; even when it hurts. Trust yourself…you are worth

A few weeks ago I began doing a VLOG with my friend and colleague Kyle Bradford who writes a fabulous blog called www.chopperpapa.com.  We are calling our VLOG “He Said/She Said” and each short video is an opportunity for he and I to share our thoughts and perspectives on some aspect of love, life, divorce, parenting…the real deal!  Raw, uncut and uncensored!

It is a blast!

I was immediately attracted to Kyle, not just because he is a handsome, southern, harley-riding single father, but because his views on being a man, father and great human being is very much in alignment with my views on being a woman, mother, and human being.

I hope you will enjoy our weekly VLOG which is released each Tuesday, and that you will share your thoughts with us in addition to emailing me questions or topics that you would like to see covered to discoverthedspot@gmail.com.

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What is it that keeps us working so hard for the friendships and intimate, love relationship that we so desperately desire?

Over the years I have witnessed hundreds of women who are working harder than ever at friendships and relationships that are depleting them of energy, enthusiasm and inspiration.   And yet, despite recognizing that these relationships are exhausting and exasperating, they continue to try harder to do more, be more and say more.

At some point, the exhaustion, frustration and depletion becomes more than they can bear and something momentous happens, changing the relationship forever.

Perhaps it is an affair.  That becomes the catalyst for the ending of a marriage that was not healthy to begin with.

 Perhaps there a fight of epic proportions for which things are said that can never be taken back.

 Or perhaps there is silence.  A silence so great that the hole that is left creates emotions that will take years to heal.

By the time this happens, the wounds are so deep and so painful; they require extreme care to heal.  And usually, the relationship can’t recover from them.

Divorce is often the result of what is not said and done, rather than what is said and done; although many would argue differently.  And by the time a woman comes to me for support, it is hard to get clarity around what she really wants to say…or, wanted to say; wishes she had said.

The same holds true, by the way, for friendships.  There are often parallels between what happens in divorce and what happens in the demise of a close friendship.

Why is this?

Well, if we aren’t saying what we really want and need to say, our partner/friends can’t hear what we really want and need them to hear.

It is not much more complicated than that.

You see, here is the simple truth.  You don’t have to be, do or say anything special to be loved.  Nope.  You just have to be YOU.

Honest you.

Authentic you.

Compassionate you.

Loving you.

Direct you.

Kind you.

Beautiful you.

 YOU…are enough.

You don’t have to buy sexy clothes. You don’t have to prepare fancy meals.  You don’t have to clean your house top to bottom.  Nor do you have to sacrifice your goals, your dreams, your desires or your interests to express your love and devotion.

You…the raw truth of who you are, is perfectly enough. 

Love is meant to be shared, from the inside out.  It is not meant to be earned, bought or judged.  It is simply meant to be felt and shared.

When you find yourself in a relationship or friendship that is causing you to work hard to do, be or say anything that doesn’t feel authentic to who you are, it is time to come clean.  It is time to say what needs to be said and allow the relationship to grow…or fade.

While this is not an easy thing to do, it is what will lead you to freedom.

Freedom to be the YOU that you are meant to be!

Spending time over last weekend with a group of women all with the desire to write a book and supporting each other to share their gifts and talents with the world, got me thinking about who I choose to surround myself with on a daily basis.

I have always enjoyed being part of a community.

And, it started early for me.

I grew up in a wonderful neighborhood and in particular, lived on a street where in the house next door, across the street and further down the street lived kids exactly the same ages as my brother and I.

We were a “pack” and spent endless hours playing outside together.  Us “girls” formed a secret club where we spent our time making secret handbooks and holding secret meetings.  It was a special group and we remain in touch even today.

As I grew older I continued to find myself part of all kinds of communities.

Eventually all of us on the street grew into our own passions and activities, spending less and less time together as a “pack”.  However, soon after I found myself part of a talented group of girls, my ballet performance troupe, and it was in this incredible community that I spent most of my youth.

Through high school, and college, my interests, areas of study and roommates provided me with safe, welcoming and comfortable communities.  Being part of something, belonging, allowed me to enjoy my life.

When I got married, I moved back to my hometown, where although comfortable having grown up there, I didn’t really know anyone living there as an adult.   So, I immediately got involved in my Synagogue and Jewish community.  My ex-husband is an avid golfer and we found ourselves joining the country club where we did much of our socializing.  When my children were born, it was easy to connect to communities.  There were all of the parent communities…pre-school, elementary school, athletics….it was easy to connect around these shared experiences.  I even had a book club with a bunch of moms from my kids’ elementary school.

But then came my divorce.

And I no longer seemed to fit into these communities anymore.

And the people vanished.

They didn’t call anymore.  Invitations to social and special events stopped altogether.  I felt like I was no longer welcome.

But, where did they go?

I was still a member of the synagogue.

My kids still went to the same schools.

I still shuttled my kids around to all of their activities and sports.

And I still liked to read.

Yet everything was different.  I felt completely alone and isolated from any kind of community.  I felt like I didn’t “belong” anywhere anymore.

Have you ever felt this way?

I hated feeling isolated and alone.  I am a person who thrives on relationships and community and now all my relationships were changing and I no longer fit in where I once did.

What I learned is that divorce, unlike death,  job loss, or parenting issues, does not build or invite community, rather it can break it down.  We come together in support of someone dealing with the death of a loved one, we surround people who have lost their jobs with support and we reach out to comfort parents who are dealing with difficult parenting issues.

But where is the community when we announce that our marriage is ending?

This loss of belonging is one of the major reasons that I started the D Spot…to create a community of women who all have the shared experience of divorce, whatever stage they are in.

Looking back I realize that I truly didn’t belong in some of those communities and although at the time I mourned their loss, I am grateful to have been set free to create new, empowering and supportive communities  for myself.

Surrounding myself with groups of friends, family and colleagues that are founded on consistent, honest and authentic relationships is critical to my journey as a woman.

I love the many and varied communities that I am a part of.  They each and all nurture me in different ways.  Some are personal and some are professional.  And because of them all, I know that I am never alone.

What communities are you a part of that no longer serve you?

Do you open yourself to opportunities to create or join new communities?

I had the pleasure over the weekend of not only attending my friend Anne Garland’s event Women Honoring Women with my mother, but having the opportunity to share our story with the amazing women in attendance.

Anne’s event was designed for women to share their stories of relationships with women that they honor.  I chose to celebrate my relationship with  my mother, but there were girlfriends, sisters, and all kinds of other relationships that were represented.

The keynote speaker of the event was Dr. Dorothy Martin – Neville, an extraoridnary woman with a fantastic story to share.  Dorothy touched on two points that I want to share with you as I have been reflecting on them ever since:

1.  To LIVE life you must take risks, otherwise you are just surviving.

2.  Our relationships with other women are invaluable to the quality of life that we live.

As I sat there with my mother, with whom I share an incredible relationship, I was also struck by how few close….really close, relationships I have with women.

Having gone through my own divorce almost 7 years ago, I have spent the majority of my time and attention focused on securing my financial independence, strengthening the relationship with my children, growing my business which I am passionate about, and finding new love.

Over the past couple of years, however, I have found that my desire to connect more deeply and authentically with girlfriends has been growing, and yet I have not chosen to make this a greater priority in my life.

As Dorothy spoke about her friendships with women that span over 30 years, she reflected on just how much these relationships have meant to her.

The quantity of wine that was consumed over the years, through laughter and tears…

The countless life transitions that she has shared with them….multiple divorces, the death of parents, crises with children, the many professional and personal challenges and triumphs…

The crazy experiences, vacations,  and risks that they have shared, and supported each other through…

To be perfectly honest…I was JEALOUS!

When we open ourselves up to new and deeper relationships with our friends, we also open ourselves up to unimaginable joy.  And as Dorothy so beautifully articulated, when we allow our friends to see our authentic and imperfect selves…we are granting them permission to be authentic and imperfect as well.

What a fantastic reminder!

Divorce can often leave us feeling isolated…alone in our transition.

The truth is, we are not alone.  In fact, we all not only need, but seek out connection with other women.

I hope you will join me as I make this part of my life a greater priority and make a commitment to opening myself up not only to new friendships, but deeper, more meaningful and authentic relationships with girlfriends!

So, I want to thank Dorothy for her beautiful and poignant words and Anne for putting together such a lovely day!

And, a special thank you to my mother, Martha Weisbart, for being the most incredible relationship I have ever had and for joining me at this event so that we could share our story of love.

P.S.  This event was my mother and my “unofficial”  introduction to the book that we have started writing together!  Stay tuned for more information as we make our dream a reality!!

Did you ever notice that there are some people that are always surrounded by drama?

They have drama at their workplaces. They have drama with their children. There is drama with their families. The list goes on.

Do you know anyone like that?

I know plenty. And, as a matter of fact, one of my best friends is like that.

I finally realized WHY there was so much drama, and then, everything else became clear.

She has so much drama because she is LOOKING for drama.

Imagine that?!   Could it be that simple?

Here’s the thing…we will always find that which we look for. It IS that simple.

There is a magical thing that happens when we choose to look for the good in both people and things. Not only will we find it, but along the way we begin to reframe how we process experiences and we discover how much begins to come our way.

So I ask you….do you look for the good?

Looking for good comes in handy when going through a separation or divorce. It will allow us to focus on what is most important and make critical decisions from a position of mutual gain.

It will also determine the quality of our relationships….ALL relationships.

With friendships, women will often assume the worst when observing the actions, words or choices of their friends. They will imply that they intended malice or are being jealous or nasty, when in most cases, it is simply a miscommunication or misunderstanding. Friends don’t often INTEND to hurt each other. If you do have a friend that intentionally does or says anything to hurt you, it is time to let that friendship go.

With our children, we can often focus on what they are NOT doing, rather than what they ARE doing. I have noticed along my own parenting journey that when I am looking for the successes in my children’s behaviors and actions, I see so many more wonderful parts of them. And, I take time to acknowledge and praise them for all of the GOOD things they are doing so that when I have to address the areas of conflict, they know how great I think they are to begin with, and can hear me more openly.

With our partner, it can become so easy to look for areas where things are NOT working, rather than seek out all the wondrous parts of the relationship that ARE. Rather than notice the parts of the relationship and person we love that are fabulous, it is common to be hyper-aware of the parts that are NOT meeting our expectations. Perhaps he has not brought you flowers or complimented you in a long time, but he has made dinner for you, taken you out to your favorite restaurant, helped you around the house or snuggled with you when you needed it.

And finally, with our Ex’s, it is critical to look for the good. Especially if you have children and if you are committed to doing everything to create a new life that is the best interest of ALL of you, you will want to master this skill. Your intention should be to support your Ex to be the best man and father that he can be, because that will benefit YOU over the long run.

When we look for the good in both people and things, we WILL find it.

The same holds true if you don’t. If you are looking for your boyfriend/partner to forget something, fall short of your expectations or do something inconsiderate, you will undoubtedly find it.

However, is it possible that there are so many more wonderful things that he is doing that you are not taking notice of?

Is it possible that your Ex is doing some things as a man and co-parent that are actually good for you or your children that you are not acknowledging?

There is a time in every separation and divorce to move forward and refrain from looking back. I do not mean to FORGET what was, but rather to set new expectations for the future and reframe the way we experience our relationships.

• You will need to reassess and reframe your friendships as this is a new time in your life. Your focus and future have evolved.
• You will need to re-establish your relationship with your children as a single mother and set new boundaries and expectations.
• You will be opening yourself up to new love and will need to approach the relationship with a new attitude and as a new kind of partner.
• You will be redefining your relationship with your Ex to that of a Co-Parent rather than that of a spouse.

All of these relationships will require you to let go of what was and deliberately create something new. And yes, there will be challenges. And there will sometimes be conflict. However, if you are committed to focusing on the GOOD in each relationship, you will far more likely to find it and be able to compassionately and articulately deal with any issue at hand!

I am always looking for products, services and resources that support women who are going through transition and even more specifically through divorce.  Now that I have my fabulous new blog in place, it is so easy to be able to share them all with you!

So, I simply had to share with you the wonderful endeavor of a friend of mine that I think you will LOVE!

Two years ago I was introduced to Rebecca Lown as she was launching the first online magazine for women moving along the journey of divorce!  Imagine how much I loved that!  The magazine is called SPLIT and is a fabulous resource.

SPLIT is a weekly newsletter and blog dedicated to separated and divorced women. While the end of a marriage can be stressful or even downright frightening, SPLIT magazine is here to help you live the best life you possibly can – right here, right now! Whether you’re at the end of a long divorce or just at the beginning, SPLIT believes your best days are still in front of you.

When I asked Rebecca to tell me how SPLIT came to be, this is what she had to say:

Need is indeed the mother of invention. I started SPLIT because I really felt lost about how to put my life back on track after my divorce. I couldn’t find a good magazine or newsletter that spoke my language. So I decided to create one instead.  My hope is that you will read something that might nourish you, inspire you, or change your perspective, even if for a brief moment.  Divorce is unraveling and sometimes the climb upward into the light seems slow… But good things will come if you are open to them  Don’t be surprised if find yourself as a very different person than you thought you were when married to Mr. Ex. And isn’t that an exciting and great discovery!! My ultimate goal is to make SPLIT into a printed magazine!

During her first year of SPLIT Rebecca wanted to do a few small events, so I went to NYC and did a wonderful workshop for the magazine on Fearless Finances as it relates to women going through divorce and it was a blast!  I have been really impressed with Rebecca and the evolution of SPLIT.  Whether it’s dating, finances, self care, sensuality, parenting or any other area of life, SPLIT offers insight and often guidance for the journey.  And, Rebecca is witty and humorous which can be seen in her blog and through her magazine as well!

She and I have remained in touch and I recently I was delighted to find out that she and SPLIT are the sponsors of my upcoming workshop that I will be doing for Savvy Ladies, a wonderful organziation that serves to empower women financially.  The workship is called Who Am I, How Did I Get Here and What Comes Next:  Packing Your Bags for the Journey Through and After Divorce, and I am really excited to be in New York City on April 28 to present it!!!

I hope that if you are anywhere near NYC next Thursday night, April 28. that you will come on out and join us there!

Make sure you sign up for SPLIT’s newsletter and you too will enjoy this fabulous resource!

Subscription to the SPLIT newsletter is easy and free!  Just go to http://SPLITmag.com click on “Subscribe,” and you’ll be set after a few short clicks.

I never imagined that my first full day retreat for women moving through the transition of divorce would be as amazing as it was.

After months of preparing for Anew YOU!, my special one day event, I arrived eager to meet the women who were trusting me to jumpstart their journey forward through and after divorce.

I had my curriculum, notes, materials, exercises, and agenda all perfectly arranged and ready to go.  But it wasn’t until each magnificent woman arrived, that the day was truly set in motion.

There is magic that happens when women come together opening themselves to a new experience and trusting in the universe that they are exactly where they are supposed to be.    And that is exactly what happened on April 2.

16 fabulous women joined me for a day of transformation, taking a massive step towards their new and extraordinary life.

Over the course of the day, I learned so much about each one and they learned about each other.  It took great courage to sign up for an event to talk about something so painful and scary, yet they faced their fears and did it anyway!

How remarkable!

As one of the women said over lunch when I asked her how she was feeling, “I thought a day about divorce would be depressing and that I would be crying the whole time…I had no idea how empowering it would be!”  It was music to my ears!

I had spent so long preparing a curriculum that would be exciting, educational and inspiring for the women…I did not consider that it was them who would be inspiring and teaching me throughout the day!

Having now had time to process and reflect on it, I realize that the first ever Anew YOU! retreat allowed me to clearly identify the  Five Keys to Moving Through Divorce with Grace. And now I am going to share them with you.

1. You deserve an EXTRAORDINARY life.

The first key is to fully own the belief that YOU deserve the life you imagine and desire.  You don’t have to do anything special to earn it, but rather you were born a beautiful, magnificent and deserving woman who can have everything you want!

My clients will often ask me if they really can have what they want or if it doesn’t really exist.  Or, they struggle with if they are being selfish by wanting to have it all.   If we do not give ourselves permission to feel how deserving we are, we won’t ever allow ourselves to have the life we really want.

2. Nothing is more powerful than connecting with women who have a shared experience.

The second key is to open ourselves up to receiving the support we need to move through the journey of divorce.

Divorce can feel isolating and many women feel alone in their new reality.  What always amazes me the most is the support, compassion and wisdom that women bestow on each other when they have the opportunity to connect.  While it may be frightening and uncomfortable…finding ways to connect to each other during the transition of divorce will offer you unimaginable strength.

3. Knowledge is power.

The third key is to arm yourself with as much information as possible.

Divorce can quickly show us just how little we know and how much we have to learn.  It can be humbling.  Rather than step into feeling embarrassed at how little we know or how sorry we feel for ourselves for not having been given or taught what we should know, we can instead take this time as the opportunity to learn as much as we can.  Whether it is regarding finances, legal rights or any other area of life, there are countless resources for educating yourself.

4. Ask the right questions, get the right answers.

The fourth key is to improve our skills at asking questions.

Divorce is an experience that can often cause women to “presume” or “project” what others will do, say or how they will act during this time.  Even when it comes to ourselves.

One of the greatest skills we can master is asking the right questions.  These are questions that lead us to learn more about our relationships, experiences and self-awareness.  When we learn to ask the right questions, we will receive the right answers.

5. Mastering the 3 C’s will propel you towards your new life.

The fifth key is mastering the 3 C’s: clarity, confidence and control.

When navigating the choppy waters of divorce, it is critical to master these three important guiding forces.

Without clarity around what you really want and need, the confidence to own your decisions, and control over your choices and actions, it will be challenging to move forward towards your ideal life.

As with any skills, mastering the 3 C’s will require education, discipline and focus.  Getting the support you need to master them is an investment in yourself that you can’t afford NOT to make.

These five guiding principles became abundantly clear to me as we talked about where each woman is in their journey, where they want to be and how they are going to get there.

Mastering these will provide you with a roadmap for creating your new and extraordinary life.   Are your READY to have all that you want?

Over the weekend I was reminded, again, just how many fabulous opportunities and possibilities come along when we are focused on “what comes next” instead of “what was”.

As many of you know, my first book, The Ultimate Divorce Organizer: The Complete, Interactive Guide to Achieving the Best Legal, Financial and Personal Divorce, will be releasing this June.  Yes, it was supposed to be released March 1st but printing delays have pushed the date back to June.

I will be selling the book on my website, but you can certainly pre-order it through Amazon if you want to get it hot off the presses! Click here to purchase.

For any of you who are contemplating divorce, separated or moving through it…this book will become your BIBLE! It is a step by step guide to moving through divorce and addresses the Legal and Financial Journey as well as the Emotional Journey. You can find out more about it here:
http://www.discoverthedspot.com/book.php

It was such a joy to create a book and resource for women who are moving through the transition of divorce and was a project that has caused me such enormous personal pride and satisfaction, that I haven’t taken the time to sit back and celebrate what a big accomplishment it really was.

Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever accomplished something wonderful but simply complete the task and move on to the next?

I believe strongly in acknowledging ourselves as magnificent women and taking time to give ourselves the credit we deserve for all of the big AND small accomplishments that we achieve in our daily lives. As a matter of fact, celebrating the baby steps we take as well as the significant choices we make along our journey is something that I take very seriously!

Well, I hadn’t done that.

And, although I have been merrily moving along towards new and exciting projects in my life, my dear and beloved cousin, Shami, did not want this to go un-noticed.

So, this past weekend she gave me a small, intimate luncheon with my mother and closest friends to celebrate my upcoming book launch and the joy I am getting from sharing it with the world.

When I arrived at her home, all I noticed was bowls and bowls of HUGE and GORGEOUS lemons all over!  When I asked her why there was an overabundunce of lemons around the house, she informed all of us that the theme of the luncheon was LEMONS and that she wanted to honor and applaud me for moving along my life and always making lemonade out of lemons.

And while it sounds cliché here, her words brought tears to my eyes.

I had forgotten to pay attention to my own life, and acknowledge myself for working so hard, everyday, on focusing on what comes next and what will be….not what was and will never be.

I wanted to share this wonderful experience with you because you, and I, together are on a journey towards our new and exceptional lives. We may face challenges and obstacles, but if we keep ourselves facing forward and focused on the wonderful opportunities and possibilities that will present themselves to us, baby step by baby step we will create the life we imagine and deserve.

And, I want to remind YOU, as I was reminded by my dearest family and friends, that you MUST celebrate all of the achievements, big and small, that you accomplish each and everyday!

You DESERVE it…you are a brilliant, bold, and beautiful woman with infinite wisdom and talent!!!

I had the most wonderful experience this past week.  I had the opportunity to host a special call with two fabulous women, Meredith Allen and Tara Eisenhard. 

I had never met either of them…as a matter of fact, I had never even spoken to them before last night.  But they are kindred spirits and I believe will be women with whom I will stay connected as I move along my own journey of self discovery and.

I asked Meredith and Tara to join me for my monthly teleclass because I had been reading their blogs and was taken by their candor, honesty and compassion.

Tara writes a blog called Relative Evolutions and has a philosophy about divorce that is in alignment with mine.  She believes:

• A marriage shouldn’t survive at the expense of its participants.
• Sometimes a good divorce is the appropriate solution to a bad marriage.
• Separation signifies the evolution, not dissolution, of a family.
• Divorce is the shared goal of two people wishing to part ways.
• Divorce shouldn’t be ugly or expensive.

Tara is a divorced woman with no children of her own, but she is the girlfriend/partner of a man with children and has wonderful insight into the role that she plays in his/their lives.

Meredith writes a blog called Now Is Good where she shares her journey through and after divorce.  Meredith is a divorced mom of three beautiful children and is navigating the waters of being a divorced woman and co-parenting with her Ex and his live-in girlfriend, a woman that was part of the reason for the divorce.

In her own words, “I’m a newly single mom of 3.  I’m also a daughter, sister, friend, loner by nature and lawyer by trade. I swear like a sailor.  I laugh really loudly.  I have no tolerance for hypocrisy.  Sarcasm, strength, good grammar, intelligence, biting humor and a fair amount of red wine are requirements, not preferences.  Life has been throwing curve balls and I’ve been fielding them as well as I can.  This is me figuring it all out.”

I absolutely LOVE her style!

Tara and Meredith recently blogged together in a series called “She Said, She Said” where they shared their thoughts on being divorced women, co-parents, the girlfriend of a divorced dad and managing so many emotions!

Because of the way in which they explored these issues and the respect, intellect and compassion in their writing, I asked them to join me for a conversation on the very same topic.

It was an EXTRAORDINARY hour!

I learned so much from them…and together, we talked about the REAL DEAL of divorce and the journey to wards creating your new and ideal life! 

The call was so great that I wanted to make sure I shared it with you!  So, click here to listen to the call….I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!