The D Spot

I am always looking for products, services and resources that support women who are going through transition and even more specifically through divorce.  Now that I have my fabulous new blog in place, it is so easy to be able to share them all with you!

So, I simply had to share with you the wonderful endeavor of a friend of mine that I think you will LOVE!

Two years ago I was introduced to Rebecca Lown as she was launching the first online magazine for women moving along the journey of divorce!  Imagine how much I loved that!  The magazine is called SPLIT and is a fabulous resource.

SPLIT is a weekly newsletter and blog dedicated to separated and divorced women. While the end of a marriage can be stressful or even downright frightening, SPLIT magazine is here to help you live the best life you possibly can – right here, right now! Whether you’re at the end of a long divorce or just at the beginning, SPLIT believes your best days are still in front of you.

When I asked Rebecca to tell me how SPLIT came to be, this is what she had to say:

Need is indeed the mother of invention. I started SPLIT because I really felt lost about how to put my life back on track after my divorce. I couldn’t find a good magazine or newsletter that spoke my language. So I decided to create one instead.  My hope is that you will read something that might nourish you, inspire you, or change your perspective, even if for a brief moment.  Divorce is unraveling and sometimes the climb upward into the light seems slow… But good things will come if you are open to them  Don’t be surprised if find yourself as a very different person than you thought you were when married to Mr. Ex. And isn’t that an exciting and great discovery!! My ultimate goal is to make SPLIT into a printed magazine!

During her first year of SPLIT Rebecca wanted to do a few small events, so I went to NYC and did a wonderful workshop for the magazine on Fearless Finances as it relates to women going through divorce and it was a blast!  I have been really impressed with Rebecca and the evolution of SPLIT.  Whether it’s dating, finances, self care, sensuality, parenting or any other area of life, SPLIT offers insight and often guidance for the journey.  And, Rebecca is witty and humorous which can be seen in her blog and through her magazine as well!

She and I have remained in touch and I recently I was delighted to find out that she and SPLIT are the sponsors of my upcoming workshop that I will be doing for Savvy Ladies, a wonderful organziation that serves to empower women financially.  The workship is called Who Am I, How Did I Get Here and What Comes Next:  Packing Your Bags for the Journey Through and After Divorce, and I am really excited to be in New York City on April 28 to present it!!!

I hope that if you are anywhere near NYC next Thursday night, April 28. that you will come on out and join us there!

Make sure you sign up for SPLIT’s newsletter and you too will enjoy this fabulous resource!

Subscription to the SPLIT newsletter is easy and free!  Just go to http://SPLITmag.com click on “Subscribe,” and you’ll be set after a few short clicks.

I never imagined that my first full day retreat for women moving through the transition of divorce would be as amazing as it was.

After months of preparing for Anew YOU!, my special one day event, I arrived eager to meet the women who were trusting me to jumpstart their journey forward through and after divorce.

I had my curriculum, notes, materials, exercises, and agenda all perfectly arranged and ready to go.  But it wasn’t until each magnificent woman arrived, that the day was truly set in motion.

There is magic that happens when women come together opening themselves to a new experience and trusting in the universe that they are exactly where they are supposed to be.    And that is exactly what happened on April 2.

16 fabulous women joined me for a day of transformation, taking a massive step towards their new and extraordinary life.

Over the course of the day, I learned so much about each one and they learned about each other.  It took great courage to sign up for an event to talk about something so painful and scary, yet they faced their fears and did it anyway!

How remarkable!

As one of the women said over lunch when I asked her how she was feeling, “I thought a day about divorce would be depressing and that I would be crying the whole time…I had no idea how empowering it would be!”  It was music to my ears!

I had spent so long preparing a curriculum that would be exciting, educational and inspiring for the women…I did not consider that it was them who would be inspiring and teaching me throughout the day!

Having now had time to process and reflect on it, I realize that the first ever Anew YOU! retreat allowed me to clearly identify the  Five Keys to Moving Through Divorce with Grace. And now I am going to share them with you.

1. You deserve an EXTRAORDINARY life.

The first key is to fully own the belief that YOU deserve the life you imagine and desire.  You don’t have to do anything special to earn it, but rather you were born a beautiful, magnificent and deserving woman who can have everything you want!

My clients will often ask me if they really can have what they want or if it doesn’t really exist.  Or, they struggle with if they are being selfish by wanting to have it all.   If we do not give ourselves permission to feel how deserving we are, we won’t ever allow ourselves to have the life we really want.

2. Nothing is more powerful than connecting with women who have a shared experience.

The second key is to open ourselves up to receiving the support we need to move through the journey of divorce.

Divorce can feel isolating and many women feel alone in their new reality.  What always amazes me the most is the support, compassion and wisdom that women bestow on each other when they have the opportunity to connect.  While it may be frightening and uncomfortable…finding ways to connect to each other during the transition of divorce will offer you unimaginable strength.

3. Knowledge is power.

The third key is to arm yourself with as much information as possible.

Divorce can quickly show us just how little we know and how much we have to learn.  It can be humbling.  Rather than step into feeling embarrassed at how little we know or how sorry we feel for ourselves for not having been given or taught what we should know, we can instead take this time as the opportunity to learn as much as we can.  Whether it is regarding finances, legal rights or any other area of life, there are countless resources for educating yourself.

4. Ask the right questions, get the right answers.

The fourth key is to improve our skills at asking questions.

Divorce is an experience that can often cause women to “presume” or “project” what others will do, say or how they will act during this time.  Even when it comes to ourselves.

One of the greatest skills we can master is asking the right questions.  These are questions that lead us to learn more about our relationships, experiences and self-awareness.  When we learn to ask the right questions, we will receive the right answers.

5. Mastering the 3 C’s will propel you towards your new life.

The fifth key is mastering the 3 C’s: clarity, confidence and control.

When navigating the choppy waters of divorce, it is critical to master these three important guiding forces.

Without clarity around what you really want and need, the confidence to own your decisions, and control over your choices and actions, it will be challenging to move forward towards your ideal life.

As with any skills, mastering the 3 C’s will require education, discipline and focus.  Getting the support you need to master them is an investment in yourself that you can’t afford NOT to make.

These five guiding principles became abundantly clear to me as we talked about where each woman is in their journey, where they want to be and how they are going to get there.

Mastering these will provide you with a roadmap for creating your new and extraordinary life.   Are your READY to have all that you want?