I decided to write this to you on June 21, the longest day of the year…the summer solstice! It also happens to be the day of my son’s 8th grade graduation!
I watched as he stood to be recognized and was surprised at just how emotional I got.
He is my youngest child, and as I saw he and his friends celebrating their conclusion of middle school, I couldn’t help but feel the days, weeks, months and years slipping by so very quickly.
Where has the time gone?
It has been almost 7 years since my divorce and at moments, the pain is still as great as it was when it first happened. As I sat in the sea of parents during the graduation ceremony, I was again reminded of how I never imagined that I would get divorced when I walked down the aisle at my wedding so many years ago.
It is in these moments, or milestones, that I feel the loss of what was….what could have been….what was “supposed” to be.
And yet, even with these emotions that surface every now and again, I am also aware of how my divorce was, in the end, a blessing.
My relationship with my ex-husband was not ideal for me. And it was not exceptional. In fact, my divorce allowed me to find the inner joy and happiness that I so desperately sought while I was married.
No, I never wanted a divorce…who does? But it was the best thing for me, as a woman.
There is both sadness and nostalgia at every event that celebrates our children, because there is no one else that will feel the same depth of emotion about them other than me except their father. It is that bond as their parents that will always be there.
But, after shedding a few tears and allowing the moment to pass, I realized that I am incredibly happy in my new life. I love my relationship with my children. I love that I have created a life around all that I am and all that I want to be. I could not do that while in my marriage.
So, another milestone goes by and I now have both of my children in high school. It won’t be long until they are heading off to college, to begin their own exceptional lives.
And while I wish I could slow down time…I also know that these next few years with them will be full of growth for all of us, and it is exciting! It is my job to model for them what it means to live a life of joy and fulfillment, deliberately creating exactly what you want. To do that, I again re-commit myself to being a happy, whole and healthy woman and mother.
For those of you who have enjoyed graduations, moving up ceremonies and other milestones for your children this spring, CONGRATULATIONS! And, I hope you know that it is normal and appropriate to feel a mixed bag of emotions….for that is the real deal of divorce!
Embrace all of them, and join me in re-committing to taking care of YOU so that you can be the best possible woman and mother you can be!!!