Do Not Enter: When You Go the Wrong Way
25 Jul
What a month! Have you ever woken up one morning to find that you are way off track and moving in the wrong direction?
Today I want to share with you, openly and honestly, that despite knowing exactly how to live my ideal life and deliberately create what I want in my life, I woke up this week and realized that I had gotten pulled off my path.
Actually, to be brutally honest, I had allowed myself to get derailed and (gulp) I had, for a brief time, played the role of a victim.
Yes, ME!
It did not take me long to realize what had happened and to get back on track, but I recognize, once again, just how easy it is to take a wrong turn.
Divorce can create challenges even many years after it is “over”. Especially when there are children involved, the issues around co-parenting and communication can show up when you least expect it.
This summer my children’s sports schedules presented extremely complicated travel arrangements. Believing that my Ex would be open to coordinating the schedules with me, I sat back and made assumptions upon which I made decisions….decisions that did not turn out the way that I thought they would.
Instead of pro-actively planning my time the way I wanted to, I gave up my power and the result was not only having to cancel a trip that I had been planning for almost a year but needing to be away at tournaments four consecutive weekends in a row with one son and forfeiting most of my time with my other son for those four weeks.
I won’t go into all of the details (although there were many unpleasant moments during this time) but in the spirit of full disclosure, I admit that I had stepped fully into being a victim, feeling taken advantage of, being angry and acting sorry for myself. Not to mention being exhausted (emotionally and physically), overwhelmed and falling behind in many other areas of my life.
Have you ever gotten to this place?
It wasn’t until the morning after the final tournament that I woke up realizing that I had gotten way off track. That I was somewhere I didn’t want to be….and I had allowed it.
I was not a victim.
I was angry…but mostly at myself.
I had allowed it to happen.
I had not taken control of my own life.
The moment I took responsibility for getting off track, I was able to get myself right back to where I wanted to be. I have also learned a few valuable lessons, not only about myself, but about how I would like to move forward.
I was reminded again of just how easy it is to take that wrong turn…to end up someplace you don’t want to be. However, I also was reminded that it is my CHOICE of whether to remain stuck there or get myself right back on track. Our destiny is within our control. What happens next is a choice we make.
So today I am grateful. Grateful to have had this experience (I could have done without the self imposed misery for that few weeks!!!) so that I can not only share it with you, but support you as you face the moments you find yourself off track.
Oooohhh, I almost forgot! I wanted to share with you the new D Spot facebook page where you can see my daily thoughts, fun resources, updates on upcoming events… I would love to be connected with you in between each Dzine so I hope you will join me there! (and, go ahead and “like” it if you want…it always makes me feel good!) www.facebook.com/discoverthedspot
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I like your blog. Thanks for sharing on our Powerful WoMEn’s group wall. Yes, I have gone through Divorce twice and am now happily married for almost twenty years. Divorce is a hard transition but definitely worth the pain and hardship when you are not in a good relationship. And yes working out children and keeping them out of the hurt and pain as much as possible is a challenge. Looks like you are offering some great tips to women. Again glad to have you in our group. Annie
Hey Annie,
Thanks so much for your vote of confidence! Divorce is a significant transition…but is also often the beginning of a wonderful journey! i look forward to sharing my journey with you!